So I go to Spain and spend a week with my sister and brother-in-law in the little market town where they live, 40 minutes inland from the Costa del Sol. My other sister, who lives in England, is in the same town visiting her daughter, my niece, and to complete the family dynamic, the man my mother married after she divorced my father is already ensconced at my sister's house, as the woman he married after my mother died is in respite and the time that she is there and the time I'm supposed to be spending with my sister overlap and my sister is incapable of saying no.
I wouldn't say that as a child I hated him, more than I was acutely uncomfortable in his presence. The atmosphere when he and my mother were together was charged with a sexuality I couldn't understand but was always aware of, not that I was with them much because my mother packed me and my younger sister off to live with our father and his sister and her husband 200 miles away so she (my mother) and new love could enjoy life together unencumbered by inconveniences like children. The idyllic life my mother hoped for was brought to an abrupt end a year or so later when my brother was born and proved to be mentally handicapped, something neither of his parents were equipped to cope with -- not, of course, that too many people are.
Funny that the day I *choose* to write this is the day Venus opposes Chiron, when the title aspect has been approaching for weeks and perfects the week we're in now, April 17th to 23rd. What I've written so far is darker and deeper than anything I've touched on before in these postings, and any more delving I do into the subject matter needs more careful consideration than I can give it sitting up in bed in my hallway in Cambridge, safely back in the land of paper towel and no washing up bowls, wondering if I can creep back upstairs and make another cup of coffee without waking Star Child.
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