So instead of watching Jeeves and Wooster all day I watched The Way We Live Now, again thanks to YouTube, and thanks to Jupiter conjunct Venus, which I've been sneering at for the past two weeks and thinking that for once I'd escaped, I have the world's cheapest (and lightest - eight and a half pounds - far more important considering my current nomadic state) electronic keyboard arriving tomorrow as my Christmas present to myself, thanks to Amazon.
And thanks to my sister, I've realized a bit late that the Progressed Venus square Pluto transit that I've been waiting to manifest is instead in full force right now with another couple of years to go, a chilling and more than sobering thought. It's me and Ahma and I can only say her possessiveness over Star Child, which I simply had not realized - the words dumb ass come to mind - was as all-consuming and powerful as it is. Counseling, (which I thought would help, and I suppose in some dreadful way has, as it's brought this out into the open, even though it took my sister to point it out to me), is the culprit, and if you think this sentence is tangled you should try being inside my head, where all of that is scrambling around with well what happens when I go ahead and sublet and then don't have anywhere to live because I can't go on with life in the hallway, and what will I do with Sweet Pea if I move into a SRO in Cambridge (I should be so lucky) and suppose I go back to Silver to pick up the Volvo to drive to Morongo and it doesn't work and if it does Sweet Pea gets eaten by coyotes, and when I look at transits and progressions for 2012 all I want to do is be knocked unconscious on December 31 of this year and woken up on January 1, 2013.
Happy Christmas.
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